TMI Tuesday

Analyze Your Sex-Life

1. What are your sexual strengths and weaknesses?

Strengths: Sex positive, open minded, willing to explore and try new things, blowjobs, ridiculously vocal, multi-orgasmic.
Weaknesses: Still struggle at times with being completely open with TN about desires and fantasies.

2. As a couple, what are your sexual strengths and weaknesses?

Strengths: We both know exactly how to hit all the right buttons for each other. We never gave up on each during the almost dead bedroom.
Weaknesses: Our libidos and desire for kink is off-balanced (mine is way higher for both). We’re working on them together though so I’m optimistic.

3. How do you make intimacy a priority in a relationship?

We struggled with intimacy for a long time. First the sheer exhaustion of babies, then toddlers and young kids wore us down. After awhile, it seemed like we both forgot how important any intimate contact is, whether it involved actual sex or not. In the past 18 months, we’ve been much better at making sure we get the time we need. Things are still lopsided as my libido is now higher than his. (The irony of biology sucks.) We don’t always go up to bed at the same time (I usually go first), but without fail, we don’t go to sleep without at least some naked cuddling and a good snog. I’ve gotten better at accepting that he needs downtime in the evening and not taking it personally that he won’t go to bed with me. He has gotten better at saying he’ll be up in 30 minutes or an hour and then actually following through.

4. How has your sex life changed in the last five years?

Five years ago, our sex life was almost non-existent. Truly. I’m embarrassed to admit how rarely we actually had sex. Eighteen months ago, things changed and we now have a very good sex life. It’s fun, fulfilling, satisfying. We’re more daring, we try new things. We make time for sex now. We talk more about sex and what we want.

5. Has blogging helped your sex life? How?

It’s helped in the sense that I write on here almost daily and writing has always been my way of processing things. Obviously most of those posts don’t see the light of day, but they’re still very therapeutic for me.


Bonus:  Has loneliness or emotional hunger ever caused you to “fall in love”?

No, I don’t think so. But I’ve never needed to be in love to have sex. I had a FWB way before there was a name for it. We liked each other as people, but absolutely did not want a relationship together. We had fun. We got naked. We never used each other or mistreated each other. We didn’t hook up when we were in relationships. It lasted several years and I have absolutely no regrets about it at all.


TMI Tuesday–October 27, 2015

1. Sex. What are your areas of expertise?
Hmmm. I don’t know if I’m an expert at anything. I continue to explore, grow and push my boundaries. It’s more fun to keep learning and trying new things. I’ve been told I’m good with my tongue.

2. How long have you been having sex?
I lost my virginity at 19 so a very long time. 😛

3. What time of day do you prefer to have sex?
a. morning
b. afternoon
c. night
I love when we have lazy mornings and can wake up gently and have slow, passionate sex.
I love afternoons where we sneak off to our bedroom and have a quick, hot fuck.
I love nights when we when both think we’re too tired for anything, but the naked cuddles and idle stroking while watching TV light a spark. Fingers roam, lips meet, bodies pressed together. The next thing I know, an hour has passed and we’re both sweating, out of breath and totally satiated. He wraps he up in his arms and we fall asleep.

4. Do you charge for sex? Money or some other means of payment?
No, never.

5. How long does your average sexual encounter last?
I suppose our average is about an hour these days, but it’s hard to quantify. We have quickies, we have hours of play and everything in between.

6. Do you have a safe word? What is it?
Apparently there actually are some things that are too personal for TMI Tuesday.

Bonus: Ever had sex so good you broke things or something?
Yes, my boyfriend and I broke his lofted bed having sex in the dorm when I was at university. It was elevated about 6 feet off the ground and we were going at it so vigorously the wooden post cracked. Hard thrusting and an awkward angle led to breaking TN’s penis. Not literally, but he had a bruise for about a week. He said it was painful, but he also felt pretty hard core that we fucked so hard that he had a bruise. I thought it was hot.

TMI Tuesday—So Many Questions

1. Do you believe in ESP (extrasensory perception)? Do you have those abilities?
I don’t really believe in ESP. I think that some people are more empathic than others, but I don’t think it’s some special power. I tend to be good at reading people, both non-verbally and verbally. I kicked ass at office politics because I could see through the bullshit.

2. Do you laugh when someone tickles you?
Yes, but I hate it with a passion. There’s some about the lack of control that makes me really uncomfortable. Now if it’s a gentle caress that happens to tickle, I don’t mind. I love being touched.

3. Do you like teamwork?
It depends on the context. Sometimes I like to maintain control (sensing a theme here?) and working on a team is a nightmare. On the other hand, there are lots of jobs that are more fun when I’m not alone.

4. What one thing can you do today to feel you have been productive? Will you do it?
We leave for vacation Friday night so I started packing today. We’re renting a houseboat so we have to take all of our food and supplies so it’s a big job. Despite having a horrible migraine, I was pretty productive today.

5. Finish this phrase: “Hell hath no fury like … ”
me when I’m fighting for my kids. I have two special needs sons and I refuse to back down if the schools don’t accommodate their needs. Fortunately, because I am always diplomatic and professional when we’re establishing accommodations, this isn’t an issue very often. I always try to give them a chance to make it right, but if they don’t, I never hesitate to escalate until the issue is resolved.

Bonus: Pick one – Sex:
1. wild or mild—Both, although I lean toward wild.

2. day or night—Again, easy question. Both. During the week, it’s at night. On the weekend, there’s nothing like sleeping in and waking TN up with a blowjob. When the kids are in school and TN is working at home, it’s the middle of the day.

3. top or bottom—I prefer on top or behind for positions. Sexually, I’ve evolved into a switch. So to continue the theme, both. 😉

4. weekly or monthly—I’d prefer daily, but we tend to average every other day.

5. noisy or silent—I’m noisy. With three kids in the house, I can’t always be as loud as I’d like, but I’m definitely not quiet.

TMI Tuesday


1. What would you eat for your “last supper”?
Grilled steak with sautéd mushrooms and a baked potato.

2. Name 3 interesting and unique things to do in your town/city/region.

  • Dinner at The Signature Room on the 95th—the views are spectacular and it’s where TN and I had our first date. 🙂
  • Hiking at a state park—Waterfalls, trees, wildlife. Cliffs that make you forget you’re in Illinois. Gorgeous.
  • Festivals—Many towns and city neighborhoods have a Fest of some sort throughout the summer. They have an element of Americana kitsch, which for me is the appeal. From parades to amusement rides to big name concerts, they have something for everyone.

3. Tell us 2 things that terrify you.
That I’m doing something that will fuck up my kids as adults. I have a lot of examples of what NOT to do from my own childhood and I don’t make those mistakes, but I worry I’m doing something else that will put them on a therapy couch in 20 years.

Driving on mountain roads, well, riding in a car on mountain roads; I’m too scared to drive. I always feel like we’re going to go over the edge of a cliff. I love the mountains and the views are always amazing, but my heart is racing the entire time.

4. Give us your best sex tip.
I have two. First, tell your partner what works for you. It’s the best way for both of you to truly enjoy experience. Second, it’s OK laugh during sex. Sometimes funny stuff happens: body parts slip, noises are made, positions don’t work. Looking back on my favorite sex memories, there was a lot of laughing during or after. Love that.

5. What do you have that you need to throw away?
College textbooks and notes. I have no idea why I thought I needed to keep them. It might be fun to go back and look at them, but they need to go into the recycling bin.

Bonus: Would you participate in a sex organ beauty pageant? Why or why not?
Probably not. I’m much more of a voyeur than exhibitionist. Also I have spent too many years mocking every kind of beauty pageant because I don’t like what they celebrate. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that jazz.

TMI Tuesday

this-is-tmi_tmi 1. Tell us about something that recently happened with you that is truly “too much information”.
This may not be too much information for you, but it certainly was to the unsuspecting lady sitting in front of me at a piano recital over the weekend. I went commando under my maxi skirt. No big whoop until it turned out to be ridiculously hot and humid in the concert hall. I hitched my skirt up to my knees and starting fluffing it for some air. The rows rise at a pretty steep angle. The woman in the seat ahead of me turned around to talk to someone just as I lifted my skirt giving her a view straight up my skirt. (No such thing as crossing your legs like a lady when it’s 85 degrees and rising in a crowded hall auditorium.) I  have no idea what she saw. She did give me a sideways glance at the refreshment table later so I guess I’ve made an impression on the other music moms. Heh.

2. Share with us a tale of “too much information” that someone shared with you (and you wished they hadn’t).
I have a good friend who is pretty open about her love of blowjobs, sex and porn when she’s around our group of women friends. We recently included spouses at a gathering in an attempt get to know everyone better. The wine and cocktails were were flowing fast. She very drunkenly started telling everyone about her mad skillz at blowjobs, described her husband’s cock in very specific detail and regaled us with the story of their recent attempt to recreate a scene from bad porn. I’m all for being sex positive, but I don’t need to know the specific idiosyncrasies of his cock, especially when I see him in the carpool line at school regularly.

3. Do you or your significant other use the toilet while the other is in the bathroom doing something else? Do you mind?
Our master bathroom has a separate water closet, so we can actually use the toilet in private. We rarely shut the door though. You can’t see into it from anywhere but the shower, so we’re able to maintain visual privacy and still have a conversation. The Nerd is British, so this was a big change for him. When we first moved in together, he’d go into the bathroom and lock the door. I promised I’d never barge in, but that’s what he was used to from his childhood, so that’s what he did. I know I embarrassed him with my open door policy at first, but after nearly two decades here, he’s come around to my more open American ways.

4. Will you make a bowel movement when your significant other is in the bathroom?
No! We both definitely want privacy for that.

5. Toilet paper, yes or no?
Is not using toilet paper really a thing? Yuck. I’m going to use this opportunity to say that TP should always be hung up so it unwinds OVER the roll. The Nerd thinks it should unroll under. Clearly, he is wrong. Since replacing TP seems to be too challenging for anyone in this house, I end up replacing 90% of the rolls. Therefore, I get to do it my way. In the off chance that someone actually does replace it, I will switch it if they put it on the wrong way. 😉

Bonus: What did you do this weekend? Did you have fun?
Went to a graduation party. Watched my beloved Chicago Blackhawks up the series to 3-1 Went to the above-mentioned piano recital. Lots of fun, but not enough downtime. Plus the weather sucked.