Analyze Your Sex-Life
1. What are your sexual strengths and weaknesses?
Strengths: Sex positive, open minded, willing to explore and try new things, blowjobs, ridiculously vocal, multi-orgasmic.
Weaknesses: Still struggle at times with being completely open with TN about desires and fantasies.
2. As a couple, what are your sexual strengths and weaknesses?
Strengths: We both know exactly how to hit all the right buttons for each other. We never gave up on each during the almost dead bedroom.
Weaknesses: Our libidos and desire for kink is off-balanced (mine is way higher for both). We’re working on them together though so I’m optimistic.
3. How do you make intimacy a priority in a relationship?
We struggled with intimacy for a long time. First the sheer exhaustion of babies, then toddlers and young kids wore us down. After awhile, it seemed like we both forgot how important any intimate contact is, whether it involved actual sex or not. In the past 18 months, we’ve been much better at making sure we get the time we need. Things are still lopsided as my libido is now higher than his. (The irony of biology sucks.) We don’t always go up to bed at the same time (I usually go first), but without fail, we don’t go to sleep without at least some naked cuddling and a good snog. I’ve gotten better at accepting that he needs downtime in the evening and not taking it personally that he won’t go to bed with me. He has gotten better at saying he’ll be up in 30 minutes or an hour and then actually following through.
4. How has your sex life changed in the last five years?
Five years ago, our sex life was almost non-existent. Truly. I’m embarrassed to admit how rarely we actually had sex. Eighteen months ago, things changed and we now have a very good sex life. It’s fun, fulfilling, satisfying. We’re more daring, we try new things. We make time for sex now. We talk more about sex and what we want.
5. Has blogging helped your sex life? How?
It’s helped in the sense that I write on here almost daily and writing has always been my way of processing things. Obviously most of those posts don’t see the light of day, but they’re still very therapeutic for me.
Bonus: Has loneliness or emotional hunger ever caused you to “fall in love”?
No, I don’t think so. But I’ve never needed to be in love to have sex. I had a FWB way before there was a name for it. We liked each other as people, but absolutely did not want a relationship together. We had fun. We got naked. We never used each other or mistreated each other. We didn’t hook up when we were in relationships. It lasted several years and I have absolutely no regrets about it at all.