2016. Hard to believe another year has come and gone.
For me, 2015 goes down as probably one of the best of my life. Sitting here now, reflecting on how life is different than it was 365 days ago leaves me in awe. Even though TN and I managed to rekindle our sex life in 2014, we were still very out of sync sexually last January 1. My libido was much higher than his. I believe he was also holding back a bit as self-preservation because he didn’t trust my interest in sex would last.
Today, I am happy with the quantity and quality of our sex life. I’ve done some unexpected, but very amazing, healing in regards to previous sexual trauma. We are communicating better than we ever have, although that will always be a work in progress. After a stressful family visit over Christmas, I found myself withdrawing and feeling ashamed about my kinks one night when our planned play session didn’t happen. But rather than let it fester as I would have a year ago, the next day I wrote about it to a friend and then made the conscious decision to let it go. That night he surprised me with exactly what I needed to fill loved, respected and kinky.
2015 was definitely a year of discovery. We tried a variety of new positions. We had more anal sex. I grew to really like blow jobs, which I previously only tolerated out of obligation. (Yes, he’s thrilled with this development.) We introduced spanking at my request and I’m still surprised at what a turn on I find it. There have been a lot of new toys and most recently, several new implements for impact play. His confidence and enjoyment is growing in this area and while it’s not his kink, there’s no denying the effect it has on his cock.
I started the year reading a few sex blogs. By February, I had a new anonymous Twitter account so that I could comment on them. I tweeted for the first time in April and wrote my first post on here on May 29. I don’t post prolifically by any stretch, but just the process of writing drafts has helped me immensely. Between blogs and Twitter I have met so many great people, some of whom I’m happy to call real friends now. The line between muggle and kinky lives has vanished with a few people and I can see it disappearing with a few more during 2016. These friends, whether local or literally on the other side of the world, have been such a wonderful addition to my life and I’m grateful for every single one of them.
For much of my married life, New Year’s Eve has filled me with dread. Beyond the amateur night aspect of it, which less face it, totally sucks, something about turning over the calendar and the very obvious passage of time always left me feeling melancholic and slightly depressed. Some of that, I’m sure, was simply the sadness associated with watching my kids grow up. I think there was also the feeling that while things with TN were never horrible, I knew they could be better and I was starting to feel like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day.
But this year, instead of feeling blue and
wanting needing to be alone on NYE, I found myself not needing that at all. I was happy to hang out with TN and the family. Not a single tear was shed. TN and I were in bed as we watched the clock turn to midnight and I felt happy about so many things…
- the healing I’ve done this past year;
- the new openness and honesty that he and I now share;
- the new friends I’ve made, especially who texted me last night;
- life in general.
The night ended with some of the best sex we’ve ever had. When we were finally settling down to go to sleep a couple of hours later, I couldn’t help but smile. If last night was any indication, 2016 is going to be an even more amazing year!
Wishing all of you a happy, healthy, kinky 2016!