I was originally inspired by Kilted Wookie’s excellent post on anonymity. As I wrote and edited, I ended up going in a different direction, but I want to give him props for his thought provoking take on it. The comments are great too, so be sure to check them out as well.
I started reading sex bloggers late last year. Even though my libido was back, TN and I were still having a hard time syncing our sex life. Add in several week-long trips for him and, well, I was spending a lot of nights alone on my computer. I ended up creating a fake Twitter account so I could comment on blogs. Never in a million years did I think I would actually use the Twitter identity, but I was soon following some of my favorite writers. From there it was a quick leap to actually commenting and I amazingly found myself a part of a little community of pervs.
Once I started talking to people, I decided to take the plunge and start this blog. Obviously I’m not a prolific poster. My biggest traffic comes from Sinful Sunday, but as I’ve mentioned, I have a ton of Drafts and, if nothing else, I use the writing as a way to sort out my thoughts even if they never get published.
Between Reddit, Sinful Sunday and Twitter, I’m still amazed that I’ve built some actual friendships with people in a completely anonymous way. Real (first) names, locations and real life stories have all been shared in DM and I don’t hesitate to call them friends. I’ve even exchanged face photos with one of my Reddit friends. We text back and forth every day and I have no doubt we’ll meet someday.
Sometimes, though, being part of such a sex positive community makes it harder to live my real life. It’s so easy to talk about sex, kinks, desires, etc. that it makes it all the more painful to realize I don’t have that with any of my real life friends. Based on the reactions to the little I’ve shared with my girlfriends (and I do mean little), I am by far the kinkiest of the bunch. In fact, some things I’ve mentioned in a vague way or that my “friend” does have been been met with a range of responses from disbelief that anyone even does that to utter disgust to harsh judgments about the kind of people who do those things. Talk about making me feel isolated. Given the recent state of emotional unrest between TN and me, I was feeling even more alone. Thank goodness I have people like Steel Charmer who I leaned on a lot; N in California who always gives great advice and offers a great male perspective; and Rex who never fails to make me smile every single day.
People unfamiliar with this world of pseudonyms and sex bloggers imagine the worst. It’s really too bad they don’t take the time to learn that this is just another community of people where we care about one another, we support and encourage one another and we enjoy each other’s company online. Granted it usually involves less clothing, but hey, I’m not complaining.