It’s been a little over a week since I posted my October list for some accountability so it’s time for an update. This is possibly the least sexy post I will ever write so feel free to skip right over it.
1. Post at least four times on the blog. At least two of them must be written, not just photo memes.
I am 85% finished on a post so hopefully it will post later today. Tomorrow at the latest. Still 0/4
2. Complete two drafts. Posting is optional.
NOTHING. I haven’t worked on any of the older drafts, but I have added two more. Oops.
3. Schedule date nights every two weeks with TN that allow for time to talk, not just watch a movie.
FAIL. Despite needing it more than ever, I haven’t done anything about this one. His current mood and its effect on me makes me want to spend less time with him, not more. Not proud of that, but it’s the truth.
4. Talk with TN about Big Stuff we’re dealing with. (OK fine. Big Stuff we’re avoiding dealing with. That’s the problem.)
HUGE FAIL. After agonizing over this for most of the week, I realize that I’m resisting this one because I know it’s going end up in a lengthy, emotional
discussion fight. I imagine conversations in my head and I can’t seem to find anything to say that won’t end up with him angry and defensive and me sounding like a bitch. I’m also scared that he won’t agree that there’s a problem, which is even worse.
There’s been a fight brewing just beneath the surface between us for over a week. It bubbles out at times and we snipe at each other. We haven’t had the big blow up that we probably need to clear the air. Things haven’t been like this is over a year and I hate that it’s back. For the past 12 months, any time there’s been something brewing, I brought it up and we talked it through. Every.single.time. I get so tired of being the one to initiate these big talks. I know it shouldn’t matter who starts the conversation, but I need to feel like he believes we have a problem too. I can’t take on fixing this all by myself and that’s what it feels like this week. And yes, he knows I feel this way. I could right an entire post about just this issue.
5. Organize the mud room.
This is so far down on the priority list that I don’t even know why I added it here.
6. Finish canning and labeling garden veggies.
Lots of progress! Two kinds of ghost chili sauce made and canned. Herbs dried and labeled in pretty jars. Cute logo created for the labels, because that’s how I roll. Roasting more peppers and tomatoes for salsa today so the house smells amazing.
7. Fall clean up in the gardens.
In progress. I won’t bore anyone with the details, but I’ve been working on it.
8. Last Monday I set a goal to work out fives times this week.
I’ve actually worked out six times already and hope to get at least one more in today or tomorrow. I’m really proud of myself for sticking to it even on days I don’t want to. I can feel a difference in my body already. My #fwocrew friends are a great source of motivation and inspiration.
If you stuck to it and read this far, you’re either a glutton for punishment or extremely bored. Pour yourself a drink. You’ve earned one! Hopefully I’ll get out of this funk soon and back to sexier posts.