I have 36 posts in my Drafts folder. I usually sit down to write with a topic or prompt in mind. I always start out strong on topic. What inevitably happens as I’m writing is that when I finally hit that point where the words flow uncensored, the topic goes in a totally different direction. I start a new draft and continue with one or the other topic. Sometimes, when my head is really swimming, I’ll end up with four or five partially written posts in one sitting.0
Those drafts never see the light of day. Truly. I have never gone back and finished, polished, edited any of those posts. They sit in my Drafts folder taunting me.
I wish I could say the just the process of writing them down cleared all the jumble in my head, but that’s rarely the case. Because I never finish these posts, the ideas aren’t complete. The thoughts are still swirling. Every time I start a new post, there they are.
Some days, like today, all of these unfinished drafts pile on me and I feel like I’m suffocating under my own inadequacies. Another blog that I stopped writing on. One more project that I dropped in the middle of it. One more thing that I don’t have the guts or the heart or the determination to follow through with.
I’m working on some changes in my life. I’m exercising consistently for the first time since I was diagnosed with a chronic (painful) condition. The support and public accountability of #fwocrew is helping tremendously with my resolve to get up and do something. I’m trying to piggyback that success into other areas of my life. So in an effort to be publicly accountable (to the
legions few who read me), here’s my To Do list for the rest of October.
- Post at least four times on the blog. At least two of them must be written, not just photo memes.
- Complete two drafts. Posting is optional.
- Schedule date nights every two weeks with TN that allow for time to talk, not just watch a movie.
- Talk with TN about Big Stuff we’re dealing with. (OK fine. Big Stuff we’re avoiding dealing with. That’s the problem.)
- Organize the mud room.
- Finish canning and labeling garden veggies.
- Fall clean up in the gardens.
I’ll post weekly updates on my list so I can see how I’m doing. If you happen to read and notice I haven’t updated, feel free to give me a kick in the ass. I’ll probably need it.