I’m a 40-something woman living in the suburbs. I’ve been married to my wonderful husband, The Nerd, for almost 16 years. We have three kids, two dogs, a cat and a hamster. I quit my professional career when my oldest was born. Being a stay-at-home mom (even though I’m rarely at home) fills me with immense love and mind-numbing boredom, sometimes simultaneously. I wouldn’t trade it for the world and yet there are still times I wish I were going to corporate meetings instead of PTA meetings.
For longer than I care to admit to myself, The Nerd and I had an almost dead bedroom, mostly due to exhaustion, postpartum depression and antidepressants. We found our way out of the dark time last year—I’ll tell the story soon, promise—and jumped right into a different set of struggles. I think we’re finally past the worst of them. In the meantime, I’ve begun to acknowledge, and dare I say understand, some of the kinks I’ve suppressed for most of my life. I’m very slowly revealing them to The (vanilla) Nerd so that I don’t scare him too much. Even though I’ve always been pretty confident about telling him what works for me sexually, I’m finding it makes me feel insecure and vulnerable to share just how kinky I am. Having said all that, I’m fucking middle-aged and that makes me want to live more authentically. I don’t want to waste any more time hiding my true self. I want to push my limits. I want to explore these things with him.
I have no idea what direction this blog will go. My best guess is it will be part brain dump, part therapy, and part sexy writing. I used to write professionally and I miss it. Not the bullshit from the job, but the actual writing. Hopefully this blog will scratch both my creative itch and my kinky itch.
Welcome to my little corner of internet. Hold on to your hats; it might be a wild ride.